Illness is For Old People! You are Just Being Lazy

View PDF | Print View
by: LisaCopen
Total views: 33
Word Count: 678

I was just twenty-four years old and living over one thousand miles away from my family when I faced the diagnosed of rheumatoid arthritis. In barely a month I visited doctors more often than I had in years, and eventually found one who would listen to me explain my symptoms. A few days later I had a diagnosis.

Despite the terms "chronic" and "forever" I felt relieved to know the label that described my chronic pain. Few of my friends, however, shared my enthusiasm for a diagnosis. The managers at my office were more concerned about the fact that I wasn't wearing heels to work anymore, making me look less professional.

They quickly threw comments about such as "You're too young to feel this bad!" Most people were confused about the difference between rheumatoid arthritis and typical degenerative arthritis that our grandparents may suffer from. They ignorantly said things like, "There is no way that you can have arthritis yet." Those that did try to offer sympathy compared my fatigued and pain to their sports injuries. "Yeah, I have some arthritis in my knee from football. You just have to keep pushing through the pain." It wasn't unusual to see their comments accompanied by the wave of their hand or their rolling eyes.

A diagnosis in your twenties throws off all the typical decisions one is making. Your twenties should be about deciding on an education, a career, relationships, and where you will live. Suddenly, most of these choices are put on hold. Instead decisions are about how you accept (or do not) accept the diagnosis, what medications to take, what the risk of side effects are worth it, and how to locate the right doctor. We learn how to decipher lab results, what alternative treatments to try and when to have a good cry versus when to just bite your lip.

I tried to make each decision based on thorough research, a bit of instinct, and "worse case scenario" situations. So when I heard someone facetiously say, "You're too young to have that illness" it felt like a slap in the face; as if they assumed I was too gullible to fight the doctor's diagnosis and get "right one" that could be cured with a simple pill. I had to be incorrectly diagnosed, they assumed, because, after all, I "looked so good."

Laurie Edwards, a woman who grew up with a chronic illness as a child is the author of 'Life Disrupted: Getting Real About Chronic Illness in Your Twenties and Thirties,' In her book she explains, "However infuriating and irrational such comments are, they only have the power to define or validate our conditions if we allow that to happen. There are all sorts of reasons why people find it easy to scorn or deny illness, especially in younger people who 'should' look and act healthy - fear, ignorance, intolerance, to name some."

The onslaught of advertisements for prescription medications have somewhat educated the general public that illnesses such as rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia are legitimate illnesses. The downside, however, is that everyone considers his self an expert, and they often make their assumptions based on the visuals of those same commercials: people with debilitating illnesses miraculously playing tennis or running down the beach. While some people may find remission due to the medications, most of us are just glad to be able to get out of bed, dress ourselves, and drive a car. The commercials fail to educate that despite an illness being controlled, they are still accompanied by tremendous daily pain.

With any chronic illness, most of which are invisible illnesses, there will be people who will be skeptical about how much your life is impacted by your condition. When you cope with an illness while in your twenties or thirties, and you "look healthy" they will have even more hurdles to jump over to get the fact that for you to feel better requires more than an attitude adjustment or a daily walking regimen.

About the Author

Get a free download of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from "Beyond Casseroles" by Lisa Copen when you signup for HopeNotes invisible illness ezine at Rest Ministries. Lisa is the coordinator of Invisible Illness Awareness

Rating: Not yet rated --Choose-- 0 1 2 3 4 5 Comments No comments posted. Add Comment You do not have permission to comment. If you log in, you may be able to comment.